Oh mine, i am actually blogging eventhough i still have a lot to do. I am happy that i cleared most of my stuff. and i felt so fufilled that i am actually working hard now. ha!

i wrote this like a week ago:

"Life is in a mess right now. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to. I am still happy, definitely. What am I thinking about? What am I losing, and what am I gaining? I don’t know. “Make the move or not?” is the question in my mind right now, a tough question. The sky is falling down on me. Too much pressure lies on me. I may not survive, but I will try. I am in the depths of despair and yet I am not. I am contradicting myself. I am happy to know there is a lot who care for me, a lot who love me. I will not let them down. I have to think, I have to reflect on what I have done and what is on my mind. I am a bad girl. I spent too much. My home is the best place for me, but I will need someplace with more peace. I need silence. I need to think. I don’t know what I want in life. I don’t know what I want to think about. I am in a place of emptiness with only one route to follow. “Fate” is the name. I am crappy, I am nonsensical, and I am an inconsiderate freak. I hate and love myself.

Staring in the blank screen of the computer, I feel bored of life. I feel bored of writing. I will recover, I know. I will be back to the same old me that people used to know. But changes are inevitable. I will change in someway, so don’t be surprised.

Sometimes I feel that I am too fortunate. I am too fortunate to have a good family and good friends around me. And yet, I take them for granted. I should try to be good..

Hai.. "

i was depress lar. but i am ok alr. PMS?

haha.. i am super ultra happy. for the moment lar. anything can happen again to make me ultra depress again. ok, i think i am high. i am super happy with myself cause i suddently became "hard working". at least more hard working then what i use to be. i think flash assignment and the little sleep makes me like this.

i had come to my senses, i hope. i have a goal in life and i want to acheive it. all the things that i am planning to get for my mom and my dad with my first pay, i will get them. i am going to earn a lot and pay them back double. i still is spending their money but in a responsible way. i am satifised with what i have now, i should be. i will buy things once in a blue moon and save like shit in the other moons. ha. WTH. i am talking nonsense. i was like that for the whole day.

i cant stand myself.
awaken.

it had been quite long since i blogged.
i went chijmes with the sailors to step into the year 2006!
it was damn fun and i enjoied myself...
wanting to smuggle me into the club made me felt wanted and excited..
hehe.. thanks.. i am so touched..

thanks for the body guard who sent me and victoria to the bus stop at esplanade.. =P although i kept saying he is useless.. but ya.. haha..

i am still quite high lar.. but the songs i am listerning to make me sad.. felt like crying liao lar.. haha.. nah.. i won't..

yep, i am excited.. i am excited about my life, about the year 2006. about somethings which is not comfirmed.. i am excited.. very very.. and i hope i won't be disappointed.. =)

i am happy.
i will always be. (As long as i hope for)