I am damn lost now.
Felt as though I am trapped in an empty black box, not knowing what to do.
People are affecting me a lot.
Friends are having problems and yet I can't do anything to help.
I can't think of anything to tell them.
Felt as if everything was my fault, but I know that they're not.
How I wish I know the answer to everything.
But nobody is perfect.
I have my reasons, I have my thinking.
But I don't know whether they were right.
They are just opinions, or bullshit.
I don't know I can affect people.
I don't know how to affect them.
Promises should not be broken, but they could be.
Never know what will happen in the future.
Don't be so sure to comfirm everything, even your thinking.
You might change your thinking one day.
By then, you will remember what I said, you will think of me.
Too overconfident leads you into the wrong path.
Don't be like me.
Having found out things that I cannot resolve makes me lost.
Of cause I can't resolve everything, not anything out of my control.
Maybe "resolve" is not the right word to use.
Maybe I lack thinking time.
I need to go back into my thinking mode again.
And make myself depress once more.
I just hope that everything will be strighten out soon.
I don't wish anyone around me having troubles.
I don't wish myself having troubles.
Why can't everyone pass their days happily?
Maybe there are lessons to learn.
Maybe there are experiences to gain.
Maybe it's just a part of life.
You will learn one day and be happy for the rest of your life.
At least I believe so.
I believes that I had learnt.
Yet I am still learning.
I am still noob to things.
I guess I need to experience more things.
I guess that I am just testing myself.
How far can I get with this limited wisom of mine?
Here.
So damn lost.

LEO WOMAN

She will stand out of the crowd on the street. Leo woman normally tall or rather tall. You will hardly see a short thick woman. When she walks she walk like a queen, confident and does not look around, though as if there is no one around her.

She will dress in her own style not according to fashion. She is confident of what she choose to wear. Do not buy cheap cloths where they sell in dozen for her as a gift, she will hate it. Also do not buy cloths that do not reflect her confident personality. She likes unique and strange cloths and accessories. Being different is what she loves.

If you want to know her, take times and be patient because she is selective about people she mingles with. She's open minded, but yet she is not letting people get to close to her easily. She likes sweet words and compliments, but not too much.

She smiles with anyone, but inside she thinks she is borne to be a leader. She likes to be in control because it is in her nature instinct. She is a graceful woman , and she has a magnetic charisma, so expect tough competition.

She is a very proud person, so do not do anything to challenge her confident. She can be mad and act like a hurricane, and later can be like an innocent kitten, but do not fall for her O.K. She remembers everything and likes to cherish her sweet memory, so if you find her old photo albums with her ex-boyfriend or love letters that will make you puke, take it easy. She is keeping her sweet memory does not mean she still in love with the old fool, so you do not have to panic.

She will have many guys run after her, so if you have advantage of a good background family, or a famous last name, a successful career then it's a plus. She hates to be poor and she thinks love will not pay bills.

She is a sport type and love sports. If you want to date her, prepare to spend big bugs, for your first dinner with her can not be a hot dog stand, but better be the best place in town. She is a generous person, so do not be surprise if she give you a gift more expensive than what you gave her. She likes extravaganza, no cheap gift, no cheap dinner please. Being poor or broke make her depress. If you do not have lots of money, be creative and make your own gift for her. It's unique quality and times spending making it for her is a big deal. You can think economical, but do not be cheap.

My comment: Quite true.

I am going to reformat my lap top soon. It's screwed.
Feeling damn bored now. Feel like sleeping.
No mood. Wanna go out later in the night, but have no idea where to go.
Skatebuys still owes me money! They didn't release the money back to my account.
They are idiots. I need the money to pay Albert for the skates, but now, I don't know how.

I want to go eat at the Egyptian resturant!

Oh, reminding myself that I still owe Xin Jian $1, Daniel Low $3, Sam $3 and Alvin $3.
I am in debt!
And someone owes me money!
Cool, damn cool.

Don't feel good.
5 hours of sleep isn't enough.
Good that the phone cut.
If not it will be less than 5 hours.
And I will be like a piece of dead meat.
Walking dead.
Zombie.
With worms in my eyes, my stomach, my mouth, my asshole.

Bored but chatty.
Hope I get to eat soon.
My lunch.
I should start thinking about what should I eat later.
Hmm, fried noodle sounds nice.
Japanese food maybe.
Or Fish and Co. like yesterday.
hmm guess I prefer Kopitiam food.
Maybe fried wanton noodle.
Will be nice.
Prawn noodle?
How about going to one of the place on my list?
Will be cool.

Ha, nothing to say already.
I need to go to the toilet.
I am hungry.
But I will not eat the stuff in the toilet.
Gross.

I want to get a Porsche 911!

hmm, i think i became smarter after being silly.
so, I think being silly makes u learn.
so, be silly sometime.
wahaha..
damn lame..
sorry..

i am damn bored. bored. bored.

somethings are just unexpectedly unexpected.

haha ok.

end.

I got a list of places to racky already. I call it The Rackies.
lol, super bo liao..
k, here goes..

The Rackies
For Food:
- SAF Yatch Club
- Bottle Tree Village (Sembawang End)
- Mount Faber
- China town market claypot rice
- Geylang Lorong 35 New Scissor Cut
- Fort Road wan ton mee
- Bridge Road Naso Briyani (Famous Islamic Resturant)
- Adam Road food centre mutton soup
- Five Star Chicken Rice (East Coast)
- Changi Village Hawker Nasi Penyet
- Arab Street Egyptian Resturant
- Far East Square lvl 7 "Shalick" (Russian Food)
- The Heeren Balcony
- Parkway mall 3rd floor Korean Food
- Paragon Sushi tei
- Yam Cha Desserts
To chill:
- Loof (bar) Opp CHIJMES
- Timbre (bar) near City Hall MRT
- Seletar Dam
- Mount Faber Top
- Marina South
- West Coast Park
- Kranji (somewhere near turf club)
- Selatar Reservoir
END

Quite a long list man.. Those in italic one are those where I went before. =P

Yep, I will go to all these places! The Arab street Egyptian Restrant is a must and the first location to start with! And, thanks to Wei Min, i got the chef's number!! =D

K, continue with my work now.. =P

Give me one damn free and enegetic day to go racky around Singapore. I want to go to every corner of Singapore to racky for food and nice places. There isn't only town that have nice stuff I believe.

Yah! Who want to go with me! Should be walking whole day, so be prepared! hmm, should start off at town and wonder into some alley? lol.. no idea..Bring your note book and camera.. Bring water and some money.. We might get lost and have to take a cab..

Oh man, i owe ppl money, i forget alr..
k, i owe xin jian and sam $3.. haha.. i am announcing it..

chaos..

alamak. the skates buying process is damn screwed.
they are telling me that the shipment alone cost $95 USD.
it is damn ex lar.. and tat's only shipment.
so i decided to cancel my order, and then the question becomes whether they will approve it and refund me or not. if not den i die, i lost $163.

Grapping every single chance with my right hand yet letting go of all the possibilities that i have in my left.

I just wanna say:

I sucks.
I want to turn back time.
I want to restart everything over again.
I want to restart myself.
I wish that my fate serves me well.
I want to make it clear, clear for me and clear for you.
I sucks.
I want to live life slow, but it goes on fast.
I want to live life fast, but it goes on slow.
I want to know the reasons why.
I feel that everyone is against me when they are not.
I got stinky feet.
I am not sad.
I am happy, really.
I just want to know where the unfairness come from.
I want to make it clear.
I want to go west coast.
I want to talk somemore.
I want to know everything.
I felt that there is a need for me to know.
I don't want to get jealous over small things.
I don't want to measure unfairness.
I don't want to feel unfairness.
I don't want.

End.

I just got my skates from skates-buy.com yesterday and it will take at least 2 weeks to be delivered. I got it at a rather cheap price (US$99.95, SG$154). However, the stated price does not include the shipment fee. There comfirm will be a shipment fee, but it is not reflected on the subtotal. So I really wonder how much will it be, how much will I have to pay in total. Also, have they deducted the money from my account yet? This is so worrying. This is my first time shopping online, not to say shipping thing from overseas. I am so new to it that I worry.

I emailed them asking about the shipment, but they have yet to reply. Now, I just hope that I will get the reply. And then I will go check my account to see whether they took the money already or not. And then I wait for my skates to come. And then hope that it will come. =)

some pictures.. The skate I bought. Mission HE1500.

This is interesting. I found it while working. I was looking for fax numbers to fax out the advertisment and I came forward this catering company. The building name is "Shimei East Kitchen". I got curious and went to streetdirectory.com.sg to check it out. There is really such place and there are pictures of it.

This is one place that I want to go. I only know that it look like that from the behind. It is some running track I think. I have no idea what is it that the benches face. It is located somewhere along 176 route from west coast park. I am very curious about this place and I will go there to find out about it, one day, soon.

lol.. Sam took this picture on the day we went MOS. It's after we come out like 4 plus am or 5 plus I forgot alr.. Looks funny..

This is Jay's new album in my hand! No, don't ask me for songs, I don't rip CDs.

Some of the people from LTL, the rest anti pictures. Haha.. =P John still owes us the group picture!!


Me, dearest Serina and Marie-the mom going to be! I am so damn excited!

This is interesting.

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.
Jasmine: I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2 persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.
Daniel: Yup! I don't know what to do.
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game.
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the following weeks..

DAY 1:They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.
DAY 4:They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.
DAY 12:Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scaredand she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..
DAY 14:They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The fortune teller said: "My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily." Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.
DAY 20:Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.
DAY 28:They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.
DAY 29:11:37 pmDaniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game...
Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..
Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.
Daniel: Wait for me...
20 minutes later... a stranger approached Jasmine.
Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?
Jasmine: Yes, why? What happened?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital.
11:57pmThe doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.
Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.
Jasmine read the letter which says:
Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine...
Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted.."Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me
Then the clock strikes 12Daniel's heart stop pumping THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...
***************************************************************************
Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

hmm, so, don't play this kind of games if not you will die in 3o days. haha..
But the story was nice.

if someone is ignoring me/blocking me, i suggest that you better stop that.

the emptiness took my breath away.
the fire in my extinguished.

i realised that i have more time at work than at home to surf the net, read blogs, and update blog.. i day 2 posts.. great..

I don't want to put up a front.
I don't want to put on a fake smile.

A choice had been made
and I don't want to change it.

I don't want to ba a part of
or interfere with your life.

I don't want to look at you.
I don't even want to talk to you.

Leave me alone for the moment.
I don't want to optimistic no more.

You have your path to walk,
I have my bridge to cross.

I will die
and you will live.

Send me off to the other world,
so that you can be free.

Say 'hi' to me but don't expect any response.
Say 'bye' to me and I will smile back at you.

I found out things that I shouldn't had,
and don't want to know.

"The truth shall be revealed
but yet i shall be blind."

My cheerfulness is not a front I put up,
but my optimistism may be.

I want to disappear somewhere far above the ground,
so that only people who look up will find me.

That's what I had been thinking,
I am feeling down.

This is my depression
and it's my confession.

I need to spent time alone again,
for me to chill and to think.

Give me time and I will cheer
at that bloody mistake that abducted my soul.

"I am the only person who knows the truth.
But I cannot tell and will not tell."

i am so bored.
i am sitting at my workplace now with nothing to do..
i searched the net for my hockey skates the whole morning..
and then i book movie tickets for monster house..
and then i went and register for eNets..
and then i tried to flood the sailors blog..
and then i got nothing elses to do..
and then i am updating my blog..
and then i look at the time..
and then i realised it's time to go home!
haha! yeah!!
=P

really damn nothing to do lar..
my work come in bit by bit..
finish in less than 20min, each of them..
still got bloody lot of time to do whatever i want to do..
i have my planner on my desk..
i can plan for what i am gonna do for the rest of the year now..
except that i have no idea what is coming up..

i am just waiting for my dad..
we are suppose to be going home alr..
but he is teaching the new staff things that i don't understand..
i just want to go home..
bored to tears..

watching movie later..
it's my motivation..

cheers, i guess i am going off soon..

ha, nothing to do..
forgotten my blog since i started working..
everyday work, come home, sleep, bath, eat, MSN, game, sleep..
no life..

i am gonna watch monster house!
kinda of excited.. like so long nv watch cartoon movie alr lar...
den also damn long nv watch movie alr...
cuz i am so damn broke..
i am still damn broke now thou...
my pay isnt enough for me man... really, not enough...
i still got skates to buy..
and i owe ppls meals... arg.. and movie as well..
damn bloody... no money left for myself to spend...
no money to shop... damn sad...

i am damn broke i cannot affort any clothes... can ppl donate some to me.. winter is coming and i need extra clothes.. if not i will just freeze to death..
=P that is damn lame..

feeling damn lame now...
dulandulandulanqikeqikeqike...
wahaha... new trend..

yea man..
free and for all!
cheers... damn high now...
i am squall from ff..
cold and antisocial..

LL camp was fun.. i got to know more people.. nice people, nice classmates, nice team mates..

the night was damn cold like shit!
the air con was damn damn cold like snow!
the outside was damn cold like highlands..
we have no place warm enough to sleep until we found the stairways..
i was super tired..
feeling damn weak now..
like going to get sick..
but i don't think i will..
just give me a night of rest and a day of stoning..

about the people: nice knowing the people in LL, eveyone play a part to make the camp successful and fun.
nice to meet those juke boxes.. be sure to go singing someday.. =)
everyone have a leader in you.. just be confident about it. be confident about your choice, your way of leading.
i am so so inspired by the module.. it should be continued, really..

i so appreciate the efforts john, ian and edmund had put in.. made my 4 days worth..

i so appreciate the friendship and the people.. damn nice people.. nicest IS mod i had ever taken.. the only IS mod that i actually listened and reacted with the rest of my class.. they are people who rock the world..

cheers!
hope i get strong again!
=P